Therapy after the TTI

When someone experiences trauma in their life, they often find themselves using tools like therapy to help them process and heal. Therapy can be a wonderful, healthy, and healing outlet for many people. However, a program survivor’s relationship with therapy can often be complicated due to our unique experiences from the program. For many of us, our trauma is tied the idea of “therapy” and “treatment” as that is what the program advertised they were providing us.

In theory, therapy is intended to be a safe place for clients. Therapists should protect the client’s safety, trust, and confidentiality at all costs. Certain emotional and physical boundaries should exist to protect both the client and the therapist. Clients can insist on verifying the therapist’s credentials and licenses at any time. Therapists should hold a safe space free of judgment or punishment. The client should have the agency to decide what they would like the work on in therapy. While subtle power imbalances do naturally exist in the therapist-client relationship, the client should have the free agency to decide if a therapeutic relationship is working for them or not.

Therapists within programs can have a large power imbalance over the child. They turn the idea of “therapy” on its head. Their priority is not to create a safe space for the client:  They may have control over how long the child will stay in the program, the ability to dole out punishments, can require the child to work on what the therapists deems an issue, they share what is said in therapy with outside parties (staff, parents, and others), etc.  Many survivors have reported that their program therapists engaged in inappropriate emotional or physical contact with them or others. Often, program therapists are not licensed or interns. The child has no free agency to choose another therapist if the therapeutic relationship is not working for them or does not feel safe. In the program, therapy can feel forced, punitive, and potentially create life-long trauma.

Due to our experiences in the program, many of us find the idea of therapy extremely triggering. It took me over 18 years to finally make the decision to try therapy on my own terms. I was scared that it would be like Provo Canyon School. I was scared I would somehow lose my freedom. I was scared I would come out more scarred than before. Thankfully, that was not the case and I was able to find someone who could help me.

If you are a survivor who is considering going to therapy, here are some tips that I hope are helpful to you:

• There are different therapeutic practices that might work better for you depending on your program experience. Ideally, you should seek out therapists who will not remind you of a program. Some examples:
  • If you have a program therapist who felt cold/mean, you might want to consider a therapist who has a more humanistic approach in their therapy.
  • If you had a program therapist who was extremely belittling, you might want to consider a therapist who practices unconditional positive regard.
  • Alternatively, if you had a program therapist who did not respect proper physical or emotional boundaries, a humanistic therapist might be very triggering
• Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all model. Think of it as a relationship. Just like any relationship, you should find someone who “clicks” with you.
• Most therapists are not going to have a lot of experience with the troubled teen industry. However, most survivors would not feel comfortable going to a therapist who used to work in the industry. I would recommend looking up any prospective therapist on professional platforms such as Psychology Today, Linkedin, etc to review their professional history and credentials. That way you can feel some degree of comfort knowing that they have credentials and did not previously work in a program.
• When you look for therapists, look for therapists with extensive experience with trauma. Experience is the key word here – not just certifications or internships. In my experience, many early career therapists claim to be “experts” in trauma by virtue of having degrees or certifications but without the corresponding professional experience to go along with that education. In the tech field, we call these “paper tigers” – someone with a large number of expert certifications but no actual expert-level professional experience applying that knowledge. My recommendation would be to proceed with caution if someone claims to be an expert in any topic without experience.
• Ask for an introductory interview or consultation. This should be a standard practice for most therapists to ensure that it is the right fit for both of you.
• In that initial interview, I would suggest asking certain probing questions to find out if the prospect therapist has certain pro-TTI attitudes or opinions. It is better to learn this early before you start investing in this therapeutic relationship. Some example questions may be:
  • “How do you feel about coerced/forced residential programs?”
  • “How do you feel about youth residential treatment centers?”
  • “How do you feel about the troubled teen industry?”
  • “How do you feel about youth wilderness therapy?”
  • “How do you feel about educational consultants?”
• After you ask your probing questions, be honest about your history and trauma in that initial interview.
• Be prepared for the possibility that the prospect therapist might say that they are not equipped to handle your type or level trauma. This might feel like a personal rejection or that you are “too broken to be fixed.” It is not. I have spoken to many survivors who have been told this. It might sting to hear but if they do tell you this, please remember this:
  • It is not a personal indictment or rejection of you as a person
  • It is better to be told this before you develop a deeper therapeutic relationship with this therapist
  • If anything, it is an admission they are not experienced enough in trauma to take you on as a client

For any survivors considering therapy, I hope the above tips will help you. Therapy can be beautiful or painful depending on of its the right fit.

Alternatively, if you are looking for additional support without therapy, I would also suggest looking into the following:

• Support groups – These exist formally and informally in survivor communities
• Formal peer-support models
• Guided sessions such as those offered by Take Back Your Life Recovery