Joel’s Testimony – Horizon Academy

I wasn’t sexually abused, or even physically abused.

For the longest time I couldn’t accept that I was abused at all.

They do a good job scrubbing those suggestible little minds and turning them on each other to both spread and reinforce their twisted ideology.

“Don’t be a victim” was always so weird coming from somebody that gave super Tony Soprano vibes (‘Jade Robinson.’)

I was there shortly after the school opened. Less than 10 boys, and even less girls. I was scared out of my mind. I had run away from home to live with a friend at his grandparents. Relationship at home was rocky and my parents were catholic and quite easily manipulated by the predatory rhetoric they pump out to take advantage of parents who either lack the capability or desire to raise their child.

Anyways, I quickly realized there was a party line I had to tow and if I didn’t, I’d get nailed to the wall like some of the other more headstrong kids. I did my best to blend. To lay low. I did a good job mostly. It was difficult to adapt to the rigid structure and maintain a facade of compliance and acceptance, while the whole time in the back of my head and bottom of my heart I’m trying so hard to retain who I am, what I think and believe, how I actually feel. I never did quite get the hang of being “good” and within regs, so I transition between “upper level” and “lower level” often. I witnessed abuse at both ends.

There was no escaping the humiliation, not even if you somehow managed to rise through their impossible system. I saw children pinned to the ground by multiple large men 2-3x their size who would use great force and even laugh while subduing a scared and rightfully angry child who had simply refused to comply with silence. I watched the privacy of girls violated by creepy women with no real qualification to be performing such intimate and humiliating procedures. I watched the cooks willingly poison us with water they themselves wouldn’t drink. I watched a lady who wasn’t a pharmacist administer copious amounts of heavy psychiatric drugs to almost every kid there. I watched as several teachers told kids they were wrong, deny them graduation from high school, because that kid didn’t answer the biblical questions. I watched as adults turned the other way when their peers blatantly abused and tortured kids that they themselves professed love and devotion towards. That’s all I did was watch. I didn’t say anything. I was too afraid.

To this day I question the validity of everything I think and feel because of their brainwashing. So, when I turned 18 and my parents told me that I was to be stranded in Pahrump or stay and graduate the program; I wasn’t at all surprised. They’d fallen for every venomous word of these people so far; my 18th birthday shouldn’t be any different. I got lucky and hitch-hiked home with 3 wonderful girls I met in Pahrump’s giant 3 story porn shop/theatre. The clerk was going to let me sleep in the theatre because I was scared of exposure, (they always threatened us with this killing us if we ran), and these kind people overheard me calling a friend to try for a ride and they offered and followed through. It was the first real interaction I’d had outside the program, and they helped show me that the world outside is not as cruel as it was in there. That good is defined by the people who choose to do it, not those who boast how it can be done.

I know that my story is being told kind of late, and it probably won’t add to any litigation efforts, but I needed to finally say this: I’m Joel McNearney, and I survived Horizon Academy. I am happily married in my hometown. I don’t really speak to my family anymore. I’ve thought about all of this every day for 16 years. I no longer self-medicate with the hardcore narcotics I turned to after HA. (8yrs clean off meth*) I am on the appropriate meds, in therapy, and have a medical cannabis license. I haven’t succeeded in the way that snake Jade Robinson promised, I have succeeded in a much more real way. I have survived to conquer my setbacks in life, and to tell my story to those who might need to hear it. For those of you who were abused at the hands of these monsters, I see you. I have always seen you. I have always felt guilt for not doing something to help you. For watching quietly to save myself. Please forgive me. And to the other witnesses, your story matters, every word of it. No matter how little or late it is.