Anonymous’ SUWS of the Carolinas and Lake House Academy Testimony

Before I was sent to SUWS of the Carolinas, I was a troubled kid with terrible trauma. Riddled with anxiety, depression, and undiagnosed autism, I could barely take a shower once a month. I was struggling with school and was too depressed to do any work. In December of 2019, I was kicked out of my school for failing grades. Not knowing what to do with me, my parents sent me away to SUWS.

I hated going outside and the buzzing sound bugs make is a huge sensory issue for me. My parents assured me it would only be for four weeks and then I could come home. I was nervous, but I still had faith it wouldn’t be so bad. I was wrong. They took away my books and made me change into a blue long sleeved shirt and black pants. I was 13 and yet they placed me in the younger kids group where I was the only girl.

On the third day, one of the boys pushed another so he smashed the boy’s head into a wooden structure repeatedly until he was restrained by one of the staff. I was terrified and that night the boy that got restrained ran away. None of the staff could find him and the police were called. He returned later that night and everyone acted like this was a normal occurrence.

About a week after I came, another girl was added to our group. She was a 10-year-old girl who was completely insane. She called other people in the group the n-word and faked tourettes stating she couldn’t stop cursing and it was compulsive.

We were forced to hike and to carry 40-pound-packs and I’m told by others who went to similar programs that our packs were light compared to most peoples’. The staff misinterpreted my compulsive scalp picking as self-harm and contained me for it. This was in the middle of the winter and one day I was under my tarp and everyone was out doing their own thing. I was spiraling and unable to move because of my severe depressive state. I was barely aware of my surroundings or the fact that I was slowly freezing and the staff were unaware as well. I am told by the time I finally had the strength to get up and out of my tarp my lips were blue.

We only got to shower on average once every 14 days. I am a picky eater and most of the food we were provided were things I would not eat. I was told “You’ll begin to eat the food as you stay here longer” but that never happened. It got to the point where staff had to document my meals. I lost 15 pounds there.

Near the end of my stay, my parents sent me a letter that stated I had not made enough progress to return home so I would be staying at a therapeutic boarding school for the next year or two. They called this a ‘compromise’ because most therapeutic boarding schools go for the entirety of one’s high school. I just wanted to go home but due to Covid-19 I couldn’t even see my parents in between programs. I ended up staying there for 73 days.

When I first got to Lake House, comparatively it seemed like heaven. I could shower every night, read books, eat pizza once a week, and wear my own clothes. It’s shocking to me now that these were the things I was excited about. These are basic things everyone should be able to do.

During the first few months I was bullied relentlessly about my anxious breakdowns and the fact that I wouldn’t leave my bed, which I considered a safe space. When I get nervous, I tend to communicate by anecdotal stories which were always responded to by ‘I don’t care’ by my peers. These factors made me feel more worthless than before I even went to a program.

I started acting out and got contained every day. It took three adults to hold me down on my worst days. Their solution for this was to move me to a “High Security Room”. Incidentally, this was the best time I had while there. That room was a safe space for me, but that didn’t last long.

After three or so months the people in the room were considered “ready” and moved back down to the main house. We were split up and assigned new roommates. One of my new roommates was a literal nightmare. She was constantly body-shaming me and one of my other roommates. She made death threats to one of the people in my room that I actually liked. I’m Jewish and she decided it would be funny to show me a Holocaust meme. I was disturbed and she just laughed. She said my face was ‘priceless’. She continued to reference the meme later and I was beyond depressed.

My other roommates decided they were the terrific three and purposely left me out. I was extremely depressed at this point and I barely got out of bed. What didn’t help was the occasional violence. A student stabbed my favorite staff member in the eye with a stick and she had to go to urgent care. I was panicked for a month and the other girls in my room told me to ‘calm the fuck down’ whenever I brought it up. I was sentenced to this hell disguised as a therapy program for 17 months. I spent my 14th and 15th birthday there. My parents say they saw improvement after these programs, but that is me trying excruciatingly hard because I don’t want to go back.

To this day I have vivid nightmares where my parents decide to send me to another therapy program.