Holli’s Elan School Testimony

Remembering this school has been such a black cloud for me. For years I have forgotten even the name of the school because I wanted to wipe out that time in my life. Because of the time that it happened and where I was, and where I was sitting the moment 9/11 happened it just will forever trigger me to go back in time to where I actually was. Talking to my husband again this year about what I remember, because I saw a memory post about the Twin Towers that had fallen; He listened more close to everything. He was surprised that I spoke more in detail about the school I attended. While I was still speaking… he was on the other end of the phone googling. He texted me a picture…. and right there I started shaking and my eyes watered up to find out that it was really the school I was speaking of. I will never get over the trauma that this school put me through.

I will never get over the memories that even got me there. But Elan School mentally and physically broke me down. From the way they operated… to mentally breaking someone down by insults, curse words, and abuse. You would get in trouble and written up if you didn’t write something that you hated about a person. You had to drop a note on a person every day… or you would be the one standing behind a broom stick being yelled at by the whole house hold. If you didn’t yell and shout at a person… you would be next. If you still didn’t play their game… you would be sent into a general meeting where all households would surround you to bully and mentally attack you. From wearing cones on the head, to sitting in the corner, to not being able to cry, laugh, talk, hug, vent, look at anyone in the eye. I will never feel fully normal. I am acting as someone else when I am on the outside. I can’t ever be home and have noise in the background. Memories of staff yelling, cursing you out, and belittling you as a human will never end in my mind.

Elan School had dehumanized me forever.

I do label myself as a survivor.

The breath of air I finally took when I found out that the school was shut down.

No child or human should have ever attended there.