Bree’s Lincoln Prairie Behavioral Health Center Testimony

I had just turned 13 when I was forced into the Lincoln Prairie program. I had been sent for self harm/depression and suicidal ideation. My school counselor was the one to find out about a suicide plan I had. It was first hour English and I broke down into random tears. She and I talked, and she decided I HAD to go to a program; my parents and I weren’t given a choice. She called my mom, who couldn’t take off work, but was there as soon as she could. We sat and waited from about 9:30am til almost 11pm; the transport agency never called anyone to go and pick me up. The driver was nice enough; an older man (probably in his 60s) who had genuine conversation with me and even bought me dinner after asking if I had eaten yet that day (I hadn’t). Upon arrival, he wished me the best as a nurse took me inside.

What immediately struck me was how clinical everything was. I had all of my belongings confiscated, including my leather bound sketchbook (which was on the list of allowed items) and a plush cat that was my only item of comfort. I was forced to strip naked for a ‘scar hunt,’ where they looked for signs of self harm or injury. I wasn’t given a towl, sheet, nothing, just forced to sit there naked as this woman looked over my body. She cracked jokes about my favorite food being pizza (because of my severe acne and psoriasis) as she pressed her fingers on some fresher wounds. I was forced to wear super uncomfortable, way too big scrubs for my entire stay.

That first night was hell. The girl I was rooming with was already asleep, and I laid there until nearly 4am crying. Group was hell. We weren’t allowed casual conversation, and there was very little to do as we were confined to that main room. If we did anything wrong (including crying, writing, or even comforting another patient) we were forced into the ‘Calming Room’, which looked exactly like a prison isolation room but without the bed.

The staff gaslit me over my own conditions and spiritual beliefs. The therapist I saw had me put of 20mg Xanax, which just made me high, and wouldn’t listen to me nor my mother when we were trying to discuss my stay. I was there for 11 days. On day 9, a girl who had been bullying me the entire time entered my room and jumped me. She punched me in the back of the head, then sat on top of me after I fell, punching my face over and over. I had received a grade 2 concussion and my nose was broken in 4 different places. The girl received no punishment, which wasn’t surprising; she had jumped a different girl the day prior and dislocated her shoulder.

I was moved to a room with a camera for the rest of my stay. However, the camera didn’t work and hadn’t in years. My new room mate was flirty ever since she met me. On my final night there, she came over to my bed, stole my pillow, and told me that if I didn’t let her ‘use me’, she would smother me to death. I was terrified, simply because I knew she would do it. She had bragged about killing her pets in group. I was raped by that girl. Night checks could have prevented that, but the nurses didn’t bother. There was never once a night check my entire stay. Because of me being in a residential facility, the police dropped the assault charges for my broken nose. I tried telling staff about my room mate having raped me, but they told me that since it wasn’t on camera and they didn’t hear anything, that I was lying. If I didn’t stop lying/attention seeking, they would hold me for longer.

Lincoln Prairie Behavioral Health Center set me up for years of sexual abuse by partners, worsening depression, and severe PTSD. I am now almost 20; it’s been nearly 7 years since I went to Lincoln Prairie, and I don’t wish that hell upon anyone.